The horse is dead. Long live the horse.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

20071031

Because Debi asked and I was inclined to supply, here's an archive of most of my pumpkin carvings so far - sorted by date carved. The only missing ones were my very first carving, a profile of Plato and the one for Halloween 2003 (it was Greg Bahnsen); in neither case did I have a working camera.

Pumpkins yo.

p.s. I noticed that the Pumpkin Page doesn't work very well when one uses IE. I could fix that, but I'm not going to. Mostly because I'm lazy. Partly because I'm not an IE user. And it feels like the only people using IE on my site are random surfers who have zipped in from Google and are looking for a picture of a girl in a bikini in the snow - which isn't even on my site. The end.

[UPDATE: for those interested in materials, time spent, tools used, etc., I've added relevant information to each pumpkin's page.]

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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

20071030

It was a hectic week. Though we never did have to evacuate our home, we were on watch for a while. Fortunately, the Santa Anas were not sustained and an offshore breeze turned the direction of the fire toward uninhabited hillsides. Still, the effects of the fire were felt, and the past seven days haven't been easy. On top of all things, I got a lung infection from too much inhaled smoke. I totally seriously recommend it. Fun stuff for sure.

One of a couple amusing sights was the lady to the nines in jogging gear, running full bore despite the constant warnings that people not really even venture outside due to the quality of air. Schools that weren't closed outright at the least forbid any athletic activity and here is one lone soldier, snubbing her nose at the prognosticators of her ruin. She's probably dead by now. Or a robot.

The other thing that made me smile all kinds of smiles was the guy at the do-it-yourself car wash, scrubbing away, getting his car spic-n-span clean. On the third day of the fire. While ash was even at that moment raining down on his car. I imagine that when he finally finished, he had paid eighteen dollars to give his car a fine muddy coat.

In other news, I carved my first pumpkin of the holiday season - a commission for a Reformation Day celebration. Et voila, le brigand himself:

Le Brigand

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Wednesday, October 24, 2007

20071024

In an act of prescience common to my station in this spinning, whirligig called Planetos Earthena, I predicted the recent firestorms (and their source) with both an accuracy and alacrity that should, quite frankly, alarm even the best of us. And perhaps even Boy Scouts - to hit the other end of the spectrum.

It was the birthday card thing that did it. Peggy brought in a birthday card to sign for Bryan, but expressed some disappointment and trepidation at just how "girly" the card was. For some reason built into the culture of her youth I'm guessing, she felt that a card with delicate lyricism featuring a young girl looking demurely into her basket of roses was too—and I quote—feminine for a man twenty years my senior and four inches my taller.

I know, huh? To each her own, huh. That's what I thought too. But then I thought about it a bit and decided that Byran might be from Peggy's culture as well. So I did what I could to man up the card while maintaining the sentimental flavour, letting him know that even if he is a rampaging terror and blight upon society, we still respect him and count him as a blessing to the working environment.

Burn Baby Burn

Little did I know that a mere two days later, the world would be in flames, lit up by an arsonist. An arsonist who is, I think we may conclude, a hunnerd-an-twelve foot tall girly escaped from her role as the flower girl at a recent wedding in the Land of Giants and Marmots. Oh, I hope the police catch her. We can only take so much more.

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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

20071023x

Here are some update pictures from this afternoon. I took these two panoramic shots within ten minutes of each other to show how quickly the fire conditions can change.

In the first shot, we see that the edge of the fire closest to my house is billowing strong and ominous and the eastern edge seems to be smouldering.

In the next shot, ten minutes later, the eastern edge seems to have entirely sucked the life out of the western side. And I don't think this is through the efforts of firefighters either. I think it's just the natural insanity of fire's meandering sense of conquest.

Fire is so very ADD.

Here are some more shots from the afternoon. Oh yeah, and in the first one, you can see a heat tornado has formed in the midst of the smoke column. Pretty cool if it wasn't so scary.

Currently, our house isn't in a lot of danger. But as I've mentioned, these things can change abruptly. Yesterday at this time, we weren't in any danger either, but wind shifts have been frequent and so anything's possible. In any case, firefighter estimates for full containment are between five and thirteen days - so whatever the night holds, I'm sure there will be tense moments for many pver the next few week or so.

And that's if there aren't any more stupid arson people playing with matches.

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20071023

While yesterday, at 4:oo pm, it didn't look like my house was in any jeopardy at all from the ongoing Orange County fire (dubbed by the media, the Santiago Fire*), over the night it changed directions entirely and is now about a mile from my house. Click on the picture below to see a wider map of the area (complete with fire drawn in where I found it appropriate).

*note: the Santiago Fire is not remotely as cool a name as the concurrently named WItch Fire, Magic Fire, and Sly Fire.

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Monday, October 22, 2007

20071022

So Dumbledore is gay. I have to admit that it makes sense for the character. He did seem to at the least have a terrific man-crush on Grindewald.

I had, for the most part, thought of the ol' Double-D as asexual previously. A man so overwhelmed by the enormity of his responsibility that his sexual identity just kind of became subsumed by necessity. It didn't help that the object of his affection turned out to be the Stalin of the wizarding world - a circumstance that might be enough to put anyone off trusting their own judgment in affairs of the heart. Well, maybe not. But people often suppress aspects of their natural person under the fell weight of necessity - so I could totally see Dumbledore doing this.

That weight would also tend to offer an explanation as to why he's mildly insane. And also why he hasn't gone in for that sexy minx McGonagall.

I think the most interesting thing about it is that it is reported as news. That a instance of a fictional character's sexuality makes headlines is pretty amusing to me. One of the kids we work with was pretty upset by the revelation, but that might be expected. He is, after all, a kid. As to why others are excited by the news, I can only guess.

The end.

Hm, remind me to tell you some time about why I think that the terms homosexual and heterosexual are mythological.

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Friday, October 19, 2007

20071019

Out of a mild and spontaneous curiosity, I wanted to see if Christianity Today had anything to say about Blankets or Fun Home, two recent and celebrated (and even banned!) graphic novels - as the first deals explicitly with evangelicalism and the second treats frankly lesbianism. Both novels are autobiographical and deserve interest. CT had nothing to say about Fun home and while there was evidence of an article on Blankets, the site is a mess and the link to the article is broken.

Instead, I found "Don't Mess with My Genre," a review of Who Needs a Hero? which seems to be a "Christian" examination of comic books. The reviewer, Edirin Ibru, is a self-professed comic book "know-it-all." WatchmenHe takes the author of Who Needs a Hero? to task for not keeping up with the times and imagining that comics are all about the bright and shining heroes that have recently populated the big screen. Ibru points out the grim-n-gritty era of comics begun in the mid-'80s through the influence of books like Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns and Alan Moore's Watchmen (coming soon to a theater near you) and chastises the author of Who Needs a Hero? for entirely ignoring the evolution of comics from its more colourful, heroic expressions of the past.

The irony is that is that Ibru himself could be chastised for a shortsighted view of the history and evolution of a medium in which he claims expertise. None of the examples he cites in order to prove that Who Needs a Hero? misses the boat are more recent than fifteen years ago. He expresses concern that a method of storytelling that peaked in 1992 is not properly represented, neglecting the wealth of development that has since occurred.

Sin CityGranted, there is a small segment of the industry that is still influenced by Miller and Moore, but what about all the more worthwhile developments in the medium? Ibru bemoans the association of comics with children's entertainment and the best he can do is cited teenager's entertainment as an example of why comics are not kid's stuff. Sin City? The Punisher? Spawn? This is the stuff that solidifies the childish reputation of comics.

Granted, he does make mention of V for Vendetta, which is a mature and interesting story that doesn't cater to the adolescent mind.

PersepolisBut where is the interesting stuff? The autobiographical works like Blankets, Persepolis (coming soon to a theater near you), and Fun Home? Documentary works like Palestine, Safe Area: Gorazde, and Doing Time? Crime stories like Stray Bullets, Bendis' Alias and Death Note? Jar of FoolsDramas like Jar of Fools and Jimmy Corrigan? Comedies like Scott Pilgrim, Yotsuba&! and Blue Monday? Fantasy like Sandman, Bone and Fables? Speculative fiction like Y: The Last Man (coming soon to a theater near you)? Historical fiction like Berlin and Usagi Yojimbo? Horror? Westerns? Romance? Sports? Politics?

Whatever genre you like, there's bound to be something to interest you. Ibru complains that the author of the reviewed book is doing damage to the medium* by focusing on a single, antique aspect unique to a bygone era. Amusingly, Ibru accomplishes much the same in his pantomime of righteous indignation. By focusing only on the baby step in the evolution from childish superhero fiction to adolescent superhero fiction, he promotes that the medium is still about adolescent power fantasies.

*sigh* And I wonder why people like Tom still don't have any interest in giving graphic novels a chance.

*note: Ibru uses the term "genre" when he means medium. Comic is not a genre but a medium. Comics are analogous to books, music, and film rather than to romance, action, sci-fi, blues, reggae, or pop.

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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

20071016

Valve recently released a game that I've been anticipating for a long time, but one that I won't likely get to play for some while. That game is Portal. The concept is unrelentingly cool, featuring a gun that shoots, well, portals onto walls, allowing you to travel from one place to another. I know that sounds stupid, but it's actually closer to freaking awesome.

And you should know how loathe I am to use a term like freaking.

In any case, like I said, I am unable to play the game just now. So instead, as something of a stop-gap, I've been playing the two-dimensional Flash version of the game. It's an admirable effort. The game employs a series of puzzles, coaxing players to make wicked sneaky use of their door-shooters.

I highly recommend going right now and playing and having fun. Lots of fun. If you aren't sold, I recorded a slightly longer than a minute demo of how it works to thrill and inspire your jangly inner bits. See below.

The Camtasia Studio video content presented here requires JavaScript to be enabled and the latest version of the Macromedia Flash Player. If you are you using a browser with JavaScript disabled please enable it now. Otherwise, please update your version of the free Flash Player by downloading here.

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Monday, October 15, 2007

20071015

Thanks to the joys of Comics Curmudgeon, I've been able to invest new interest into several comics strips that I used to read back in the day when news was gathered from paper products. One of the more intriguing strips for me to catch up with has been Funky Winkerbean. Tom Batuik, the author, is just ruthless with his characters. Here's a typical strip.

So recently, Batuik slew off the wife of series hero, Les, as she engaged mano-y-mano in dread battle with the infamous cancer monster. Essentially, that battle went down just like every battle with the cancer monster does. Les' wife Lisa spent bald and painful months of deteriorating health before finally succumbing on 4 October 2007. But that's not what I want to talk about.

I want to talk about the future.

The next day of the strip, Batuik brings us into the future. Ten years into the future. Les is wearing glasses that weren't a product of the mid eighties. He has a goatee and looks like a psychologist. Ironically, we find him reclined on a psychologist's couch as he reccounts the agony of days immediately following Lisa's send-off. After this remembrance is finished, the narrative will presumably resume in future-Les' time, ten years hence.

A.D. 2017.

This is where Batuik has the opportunity to do som e awesome stuff. I mean, come on, it's 2017! We'll get to see a world populated by alien-human hybrids. Les' new wife will have the head of a crocodile. His psychologist to whom he's pouring his heart out will turn out to be a hologram of a robot generated by the World-Mind Computer that rules the world from Paris. Texas. Everyone will drive hovercars to work. Wally Winkerbean will now be more cyborg than human, having most of his body replaced after a second landmine accident left him a pulpy mess. Fortunately, the landmine blew off his cancerous prostate. And even more fortunate, he can now transform into a Celica.

In short, with anticipation building, I'm hotly looking forward to just what technological wonders Batuik introduces with this new comics narrative - which he might as well retitle Funky Winkerbean vs. the Robot Apocalypse.

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Thursday, October 11, 2007

20071011

After too long of being sick for too long I decided that I should write a post that was too long. Et voila:


Renaissance

Animated Film: Sci-Noir.
115 minutes.

When I first started watching Reneaissance, I thought that I was watching the next step in rotoscoping. The animation was much smoother than A Scanner Darkly (which was, incidentally, just rad) and some of the details were amazing (this, I accounted for by noting that black and white art is always easier than colour).

But then I noticed the teeth.

The movement of the characters was suspicious, but it was the teeth that made me think, Waitaminnut! As it turns out, the film used mocapped* 3D models and was entirely computer generated. Which is fine. I just had to drop the comparison with A Scanner Darkly out of my head. Just so you know, 3D models never move naturally and their teeth are always funny-looking.

Renaissance

In any case: Renaissance.

A French film from last year, it echoes the industrial German expressionism of Fritz Lang (Metropolis, M), the cameraplay of Orson Welles (Citizen Kane, Touch of Evil), and the stark visual contrast- lighting of the American noir cinema. Visually, it's like a black and white Dark City. And it's futuristic.

The creators describe it not as sci-fi, but as an anticipation film. It's Paris in 2054 and the city has grown and evolved almost naturally (given technologies that don't exist). And it's actually a pretty interesting vision. Like much of the genre of near-future fables, the urban center has become dichotomous in its expression of utopia and dystopia. Like Metropolis and hundreds of stories from the last eighty years, uptown and downtown are heaven and hell, respectively. The closer one gets to the sky, the brighter and shinier his world becomes; while those near the earth dwell in darkness and rut and moan even as you would expect of the merely human.

Of course, as is common with the genre. Not all is good in utopia and the underworld has its honourable moments. On its surface, Renaissance is the story of a successful, untouchable cop named Karas who is on the hunt for a missing woman, kidnapped from the darkness outside a downtown club. And of course, Karas is his own law; he doesn't break rules so much as just pretend that there are none. He's a noir hero for the new age. The story plays out as a typical manhunt with 21st century toys.

Renaissance

And while the story on the back of the box will talk about the kidnapping, the manhunt, and all the foul play along the way, the subtext is what the story is all about. And by subtext, I mean that which sits immediately below the surface with dorsal fins jutting out hear and there at odd and defiant angles. The film is not by any means deep. Its black and white heart sits perched with gravitas on its sleeve.

Renaissance is about a moral dilemma. If immortality can be had, can it be entrusted to a private corporation? Already in the business of rejuvenation, turning old women into twenty-six-year-old hotties, Avalon is now hot on the trail of a treatment that will keep those treated eternally young. There really isn't much question as to where the sympathies of the audience ought to lie. After all, this is a black and white movie. The corporation is the soul of evil, quietly murdering those who stand in their way, while it is upon to renegade Karas and his misfit accomplices to kill there way into a world where immortality remains elusive.

The visual aspect of the film is stunning, even if occasionally the black is so overwhelming that it can be hard to see what's what. The plot is engaging if not brilliant. The characters are two-dimensional at best. And the story is, well, typical.

*note: mocap stands for "motion capture," the process of using a computer to plot the movements of a live person and transfer those movements to a 3D computer rendering - used extensively in Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings.

Rating:


Puerto Rico

Board game.
3-5 players.

A few weeks ago, I put together that list of my Top Howevermany games. A few of you may have taken note of my Number Two choice, placing immediately after the Cities and Knights expansion to Settlers of Catan. That game is Puerto Rico and is, by any standard, a reason to get back into playing boardgames after whatever time/space distance has irrupted between your childhood and your present state.

Myself, I loved boardgames as a child. From Candyland to chutes and Ladders to Uncle Wiggly to Sorry to Trouble to Monopoly to Life to Oh! What a Mountain to Bargain Hunter and beyond. Then I hit the ripe ol' age of perhaps eleven years old. Board games immediately lost their allure and were recognized for what they were: games of chance modified by nothing save the occasional dash of whimsy (as in property-buying logic in Monopoly) and in which the investment of time was only a gamble insofar as a victory would allow the winner to imagine that he had not just wasted the prior hour and a half. Hungry Hungry Hippos was a greater determinant of a victor's skill than any of those board games.

And so, board games were put away for nearly twenty years (with occasional detours into the realm of over-complicated war-strategy games like Axis & Allies).

With my skeptical introduction to Settlers of Catan a few years ago, a whole world of engaging entertainment was revealed to me. And within months, I was led to a game that was quick to place among favourites. Puerto Rico is a thinking Dane's game. While there is enough unpredictability to rescue the game from the dire tediousness that makes its abode in the impoverished recesses of the game mechanics of old clunkers like chess, checkers, and tic-tac-toe, there are definite strategies upon which to adhere and unwise play will seldom result in a victory.

In Puerto Rico, three-to-five would-be rulers try their hand at governing the colonial island while interacting tangentially with the Old World. Primarily, players are concerned with four things: producing salable crops, building upon the islands slim infrastructure, distributing manpower to the island's best function, and supplying Europe with the goods your citizens have reaped.

Puerto Rico

Puerto Rico's two conceits are the facts that there are no dice and that all three-to-five players are constantly involved with the game (there is little downtime, waiting while paralyzed players consider their far-too-many options). In the course of the game, players choose various roles related to island operation—and when a role is chosen, each player follows through on the opportunities that role presents. If Player 1 chooses the role of the Mayor, she greets newly arrived citizens and puts them to work as she chooses; and then, Players 2, 3, 4, and 5 each do likewise. If Player 2 thinks it's high time those plantations produced a worthy crop of indigo, tobacco, coffee, or whathaveyou, he might choose the role of the Craftsman, reaping the benefits of his manned crops and production facilities; and then, Players 3, 4, 5, and 1 would take their turns to do the same.

The trick is to balance your coin-purse, your storehouse, and your choices in such a way that moves will benefit you more than they will benefit your competition. And that is a heady trick to master. As mentioned last week before I got sick, I had recently been party to a game in which the order of play coupled with very occasional poor choices to leave me a shell of a man. Strategies undone, hopes dismayed, dreams dashed. And oh what fun we had playing. Three of our party of five had never played the game before that night and each one of them (wholly different personalities all) maintained that the game was strong fun and well worth revisitation.

They'd be fools to say otherwise.

Rating:


The Bourne Identity

Novel: Thriller.
508 pages.

I loved the movie and heard that I the book was comparatively awesome. And it was.

The thing is: I haven't the faintest idea how the movie came out of the book. Beyond the premise of a man fished from the sea with no memory but incredible ingrained abilities and talents that make it look like he's really probably and assassin with no amnesia, and the fact that the first act after the prologue occurs in Zürich and deals with a Swiss bank, nothing is the same.

Sure, there's a girl named Marie, but she's an entirely different character. Sure, there are people trying to kill the man named Jason Bourne, but they're entirely different men. Sure, there's an American government-run company called Treadstone Seventy-One that is looking for Bourne, but for entirely different reasons. But are all these differences a bad thing?

No. They are not.

I really think the first Bourne movie is among the best action films ever created. That said, for most of its running time, Ludlum's 1980 novel is better than the movie. The premise is so much more intriguing and Bourne's turmoil better perceived. Instead of an enemy as doughy and effeminate as cloak and dagger U.S. senators and secret servicemen, the novel pits Bourne against the unbeatable assassin, Carlos the Jackal (though Ludlum refrains from the colourful animamorphism), and his vast array of human resources. The book is action-packed, one of those thrillaminnut rides that refuse, for the most part, to let up. I don't read cheap thrillers often, but The Bourne Identity was well worth my time.

And I like to think that my time is valuable.

This is not to say that Ludlum's thriller is not without fault. The books requisite romance is rushed and artificial. We know that Bourne and his interest are in love solely because Ludlum tells us that this is the case, not because we see any evidence that this should be the case. And, actually, there is a far greater problem. The climax is poorly wrought and much more difficult to follow than anything previous encountered in the book. The ending is not satisfying in that by the time it comes, emotional resonance has long-since evaporated.

But still. I was in love with the book until the last forty pages or so.

Rating:


And... 1700 words later, I present: The Labels!

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Tuesday, October 02, 2007

20071002

I didn't know what to do.

Thursday evening, we had some of the college-aged kids in our church over for a rousing game of Puerto Rico. During which I was punished round after round by game mechanics beyond my control. Some of you may rejoice to hear that. And yet, the stacking of odds against my gubernatorial skills with a colonial-era tropical island is not the subject at hand.

It's true. I am known for both the distraction and tangential. I'm wiley like that.

So here it is. There's this guy, this kid, who comes over for games. We'll call him Scraps for the sake of being Donald-Milleresque. And as it turns out. He's enlisting.

He strayed from his first choice, the marines, because I guess they didn't treat him that well. So he's joining the Navy. And Thursday night, he announced his intention to become a Navy SEAL. And it was at the point of coming to this revelation that I lost all sense of what to do.

In the pit of my stomach, I grew kind of sick. When I heard that he was joining the Navy, I imagined that he would be working at a desk on a carrier or something. Maybe as a communications officer's assistant, I don't know. But even though I couldn't convince myself to work for that corporation, I could see how some kid green behind the ears might think it an honourable occupation.

Kids are freakin' idealists like that. It's why we suit them up so easily to die for our causes.

But as a SEAL? A special ops guy? He'd be training to kill people with extreme prejudice. "Bad guys," sure. But also such-and-so much collateral damage as well. Women and children first has never been a dictate given more than glancing respect by The Great War Machine of History.

So did Scraps give any thought to the ethics of his choice? Is he happy to kill people he doesn't know for reasons he doesn't know, all because some politician pats him on the head afterward and says, "Good boy. Have a biscuit"? Really, I don't see how someone can justify signing up for military service for a plainly offense-oriented military. Signing up for our nation's defense? Yes. Good. Honourable. Et cetera. Signing up to bring war to foreign shores? That's butcher's work.

I've heard the reasoning before and none of it works. We kill for the greater good. We sacrifice a smaller number of innocents that a far greater number might live free. Uh-huh. How many would kill their mother or sister that a far greater number might live free. Not many, that's for sure. So then what makes it okay for you to kill someone else's mother or sister? Is it equally fine when they kill your mother or sister to free themselves from your oppression? Now wait... of course you wouldn't kill you own mother. But would you shoot the mother of your next-door neighbour if someone told you that it would help ten thousand live free and happy? A hundred thousand?

"But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour?"

Okay, okay. I realize that wasn't playing fair. Using the Bible and quoting things that were clearly not meant to have any bearing on real life decisions. Ahem.

"Okay," you say. "But the U.S. military isn't just attacking because they're imperialists or anything? These are preemptive strikes against a country that was going to harm us. Possibly. Maybe. Or well, probably not." Alright, I know none of you are actually thinking that and that the whole ideology of preemptive strikes has mostly fallen out of favour amongst all but the most naive or vicious*, but I occasionally hear it raised so let's dispense with it please.

Imagine how our criminal law system would work if the police were allowed to do preemptive strikes. We would transgress from a democratic society under the rule of law into a oppressive state governed by fascist dogmas and false peace. Phillip K. Dick explored the idea in Minority Report (you may remember the Tom Cruise vehicle). It would be a nightmare for any who care for justice or freedom. Or both.

When it comes to U.S. foreign policy, its a good thing justice is blind. Otherwise she'd be rolling over in her grave about now. And just because I can't help being a jerk about it:

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."

So anyway. I was baffled. I didn't know what to say to Scraps. I could have quietly mocked his choice or loudly condemned it. I could have asked him why he wanted to kill people he'd never met or I could have asked him what he thought about the ethical questions involved. I could have told him he was being stupid and what did he know about life or politics and blah blah blah. I could have asked him what Jesus would do. I could have asked him why he imagined that the uniform of a soldier was an honourable one. I could have done any of those things. But I didn't.

I was overwhelmed in my heart by the tragedy that he is willingly bringing upon himself and so I simply asked if everyone wanted to begin playing Puerto Rico. And I'm kind of ashamed of that.

*note: I know you think this is an ad hominem fallacy, but it's not. It's just the truth.

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