The horse is dead. Long live the horse.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

20080528

As one may have gathered over the last couple posts, I've been playing a lot of the WoW board game. This post is not really about playing games. It's about art. Or at least graphic design.

As related somewhere, I got the game to aid me in my recent convalescence—mostly to keep me from going bonkers in the midst of my inevitable battle with the dastardly cabin fever. And as related elsewhere, the game's cards and pieces are pretty snazzy-looking. With one glaring exception. The boxes that Fantasy Flight Games designed to hold the game's 1308 playing cards (yes, that's 1308). The reason FFG's boxes are so poorly designed is that they didn't happen to include any. Despite all the work they put into the game's components, they just kind of threw their hands up in the air and said, "Meh. Who cares about keeping the cards together?" Apparently the kids at FFG leave their game out all the time and never have to worry about what will happen when the game goes back in the box, gets shoved into a closet, and then weeks later is pulled down to find thirteen-hundred and eight cards spread liberally throughout the game's box.

So, just before my surgery, I decided to rectify the problem.

Using official (mostly) WoW art and a font that either is the same one WoW uses or else emulates it pretty well, I created nine boxes to hold each class's powers and talents, two boxes for the Lordaeron and Outland dungeon cards, and three boxes for the various kinds of quests (Alliance, Horde, and neutral). It was a lot of work and a bit of fun. I printed each box on semi-gloss photo paper (matte may have been better, but a semi-gloss cardstock would have been ideal) and afixed the various tabs with simple double-sided scotch tape. I still have about five boxes to make (I ran out of time before my surgery), but I should get to them eventually.

Here are some thumbnails of my boxes, each of which one may click to embiggen (and see the whole tuckbox pattern).

Warrior CardsPriest CardsMage CardsHunter Cards


Paladin CardsShaman CardsRogue CardsDruid Cards


Warlock CardsLordaeron Dungeon CardsOutland Dungeon Cards


Horde Quest CardsBlue Quest CardsAlliance Quest Cards

The only two boxes that use non-official art are the Priest and Druid boxes (the Priest is fan art that I just thought was cool and the Druid box comes from a fan wallpaper made from in-game images—I used it because there's a curious lack of Druid art out there).

While putting these boxes together, I was able to pay greater attention to WoW art (and fantasy art in general) and I noticed something striking. Fantasy artists either have no idea how to treat female anatomy or they think its funny to lead astray their young teenage victims. Case in point: the art used on my Alliance Quest box—there is something amiss.

That's right ladies and gentlefolk. This poor bloodelf lass has, by artistic license, been entirely stripped of her nickels. Either that or bloodelf anatomy is vastly different from our own and they have just happened to evolve a nickelless frontside in order to appeal to young males and fantasy artists. Either that or the plastic surgeon just kinda shaved them off. *sigh* And geeks wonder why their fantasy environments do not readily advertise themselves to the fairer sex.

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Saturday, May 24, 2008

20080524

Four reviews today: a good cross-section of media.

Ticket to Ride (boardgame)
Sputnik Sweetheart (novel) by Haruki Murakami
Paranoia Agent (DVD) by Satoshi Kon
Gallbladder Removal by Dr. Chang


Ticket to Ride

Board Game: Euro-Lite
Players: 2-5
Time commitment: An hour or so
Price: $49.99 (retail)
Publisher: Days of Wonder
Official website: http://www.daysofwonder.com/tickettoride/

Way back in September of Oh-Seven, I did a little post called 16 Games—in which I honoured sixteen games that I enjoy playing. Mostly board games. In the post's comments, a certain spartican Mark said: Ticket to Ride. It's all about ticket to ride.

He was, unfortunately, a liar, a lunatic, or the... well, no. He wasn't the lord. The other two choices are up for debate.

My initial concern with the game had been with its theme. Trains. Trains? No really, trains. You can probably see from where my hesitation arose. There may have been an age in which trains were in any way something by which one could be overawed. That time is distant and very much not now.

Still, I never ceased to hear good things spoken of said Ride and said Ticket. It is, in fact, currently the forty-third most highly rated game on Board Game Geek. And! In the intervening months I had been convinced to buy and try Railroad Tycoon—which has been an unquestionably cool sort of game. As I remarked in January, "Quite honestly, it's been a lot of fun. We can't wait to play again."

So, my bulwark defenses against locomotive games laid flat, I asked for and received Ticket to Ride as a Christmas gift. Perhaps I'm just being surly, but I don't really like the game. Certainly I've played worse, but Ticket to Ride will not, I think, ever make it into my heavy-duty play rotation.

Unless there is duress involved. Extreme duress. Or maybe six-year-olds.

Ticket to Ride

So here's the deal, Ticket to Ride has two good things going for it: 1) it's ridiculously easy to explain (which shows itself to be even more wonderful when one considers the difficulty I've recently had explaining games like World of Warcraft or Tigris and Euphrates to the willing); and 2) it's a relatively short game, one that can be played in under an hour.

The game essentially works like so. Players are presented with a game board map of America, its principal cities, and the routes that connect said cities. In a fit of arbitrariness. each route is coloured according to the kind of trains that will take that route (e.g., red trains, blue trains, green trains). From the first, each player receives three random route completion cards, also known as Tickets (signifying routes that should be completed for points), and may keep one, two, or all three of these cards. Completed routes add to one's overall score but uncompleted ones subtract from one's score. Ah, risk!

Ticket to Ride board

During one's turn, a player chooses one of three actions: 1) drawing Train Cards; 2) drawing Tickets; and 3) laying routes. Tickets are going to be where the big points come from, but to fulfill tickets players will need to lay routes, but to lay routes players will have to draw the correct colours of trains to complete the route. So, it all works to the same end. Of course, the correct colour of train is not always available and other players might lay route where you had been planning to build, thereby blocking your path, causing you to weep and moan and try a different tactic. If you can.

Really, it doesn't sound all bad and really could have been a pleasant diversion for an evening with friends. But the game is fundamentally broken in the state it comes in. The problem is the Tickets (route completion cards) with which players begin the game. This random assortment of options handicaps the game from the start. A month or two back, we played a five-player game and after receiving my three Tickets, I kept all of them, knowing my victory was assured. Each Ticket built on the others and were to be built around the outskirts of the where I was in little danger of being blocked by players forging opposing routes. I easily completed my routes and near the end of the game drew from the few remaining routes to find that they all coincided with what I had already built as no one else had any need to build there, the cards were always abandoned in favour of Tickets that favoured routes that coincided with other player's rail empires.

In the end, I finished the game a hundred points ahead of the second place player—who herself was far ahead of the other three. But my victory was hollow because I didn't earn it. It was given to me. It was like winning at Candy Land.

In summary, if you find games like Settlers of Catan too complex, you might find Ticket to Ride is more your speed; but for myself, I'll play it again if requested, but I'd rather play any number of other games. I'm glad I didn't pay for the game myself, but also sad I didn't ask for something else too. (Actually, I just looked at the retail price of the thing and Yikes!)

Rating:


Sputnik Sweetheart

Book: Novel
Author: Haruki Murakami
Year: 2001
Pages: 224.

After the excellent Kafka on the Shore and the perhaps much better Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, I've been on something of a Murakami kick. I find his storytelling fascinating, both in device and in style. His use of the extraordinary-as-mundane is a tasty joy for me to indulge. Sputnik Sweetheart, while not as wonderful an experience as the two aforementioned works, was quite a bit of quick fun.

Thematically not dissimilar from Wind-up Bird, this short novel revels in questions of identity, conscious vs. subconscious, and the real vs. hidden world, and the nature of sexuality. The book is lean and packed with Murakami-style mystery—that is, both mystery in the detective sense and mystery is something closer to a Pauline sense, a revelation that is baffling to those who don't get it and uncanny to those who do.

Sputnik Sweetheart revolves around three characters: 1) the largely passive narrator, K, a thity-year-old elementary school teacher and passionate reader who is madly in love with 2) Sumire, a former classmate of K's who dropped out of school to become a writer and who has fallen madly in love with 3) Miu (whom Sumire calls her "Sputnik Sweetheart"), a married woman who imports wine, has a hidden past, and holds no ability to care sexually for her husband, Sumire, or really any other creature. All three are tortured by their own lives and despite the plot involving Sumire's abrupt disappearance off a secluded Greek island (a la L'Avventura), the story is less about the disappearance and K's subsequent investigation, and more a discussion of who people are and what is it that both separates and binds humanity from and to itself.

Sputnik Sweetheart is not the best I've read from Haruki Murakami, but it was certainly worthwhile and a book I hope to revisit in a few years.

Rating:


Paranoia Agent

Television: Animated
Director: Satoshi Kon
Year: 2005
Length: 325 minutes/13 episodes.

I had thought of doing a Capsule Review devoted wholly to the works of Satoshi Kon, detailing his complete available collection of films and television. But then i realized I had already reviewed Tokyo Godfathers and Paprika, leaving only psychological thriller Perfect Blue, sentimental ode to film Millennium Actress and his television series Paranoia Agent left to cover.

So, since I just finished watching Paranoia Agent with the Monk, I thought I'd talk about it and hit the other two another time.

I've been following Kon's work ever since seeing Perfect Blue in 2000 and with the exception of that first film,* I have been universally happy with everything of his I've engaged. Paranoia Agent is no exception and curiously, many of the themes Kon explores across the stage of his thirteen twenty-five-minute episodes, intersect well with the content of the novels and short stories by Haruki Murakami I've been devouring over the last several months.

Over the course of the creation of his first three films, Kon discovered there were a number of ideas that he wanted to explore but just couldn't justify squeezing into the stories he had already created. Those ideas find themselves winding their way into Paranoia Agent, which presents an ideal vehicle for such examination as each episode focuses on a different character, allowing for a wide discussion of themes and ideas.

Paranoia Agent

Yet even with Kon's ability here to investigate a greater variety of aspects of his nation's culture and history, the series does follow certain particular themes from start to finish. Just as Murakami finds interesting questions of identity and responsibility, violence and sexuality, so too does Satoshi Kon. Paranoia Agent examines Japan's post-war abandonment of responsibility and visceral need for the peace that irresponsibility offers. In some ways devastatingly satirical, the brief series treats many of the cultural peculiarities that have grown to strength under the shadow of the Atom bomb: kawaii culture and its embodiment in Hello-Kitty-like animal mascots; otaku extremism; suicide cults; youth violence; bureaucratic ineptitude; and the ever-increasing dissolution of the real individual in favour of the technologically removed superself.

In the end, the show offers considerable grist for the thoughtful viewer over which to mull after the series' cataclysmic finale. In the end, Kon seems to be saying that Japan is trapped in its inability to take responsibility for really much of anything and that even its complete destruction can only serve bring the culture/nation back to a point where it can begin the cycle anew.

Paranoia Agent

Huh. I almost forgot to talk about the show's actual premise. In the first episode, the creator of cuddly kawaii icon Maromi is under increasing demands to create a new cuddly mascot to fuel society's need for ever-cuter icons. At the height of her panic she becomes the first of many victims of Shonen Bat (literally, Bat-Boy, but translated as Li'l Slugger on the dub), a juniour-high-aged kid on rollerblades wielding a baseball bat. Gradually, as the number of victims mount, a pattern emerges. Et cetera.

All in all, an excellent series that seems to flag for a couple episodes around the three-quarter mark only to rally again in the last few episodes. Highly worthwhile.

*Perfect Blue, while interesting and somewhat engaging, is not a perfect movie and suffers at times from plot holes that a little tightening might have fixed. It's a film that I enjoy but not one I return to over and again.

Rating:


Gallbladder Surgery

Operation: Laparoscopic
Surgeon: Dr. Steven Chang
Year: 2008
Operation Duration: Couple hours
Recovery Period: Seemingly interminable.

Despite all the rave reviews, having one's gall bladder out is really not the amazing experience one would imagine. Sure, there's the glamour and allure of several hours of unconsciousness, the signs of stigmata in all the wrong places, the shaved belly, the two weeks off from work, the überhip Dr.-Pepper-coloured splotch of settled blood that stains one's belly subcutaneously, and the newfound celebrity amongst friends and family alike. But to let in on the secret, there are disadvantages as well.

Indeed.

Chief among these, I think would be the freaking excruciating pain one experiences nearly constantly in the days following. Pain killers might be said to dull the pain and they may very well do their job, but if this is the case, pity above all earthly creatures those that endure such surgery without availing themselves to such medicinal remedies. For days after, getting into and out of bed is what is known in scientific circles as a quantum impossibility—a body at rest must at all costs remain at rest and a body at stand must at all costs remain standing. Or terror shall ensue.

The real surprise comes when one comes to find just how deeply the average, non-vegetative person relies upon the abdominal musculature for every aspect of daily living. In the days following such a surgery, do not expect to: stretch while yawning; turn to face a speaker; laugh, chuckle, or chortle; breathe more than the shallowest of breaths; shift in one's seat; shift in bed; survive having one's pillows adjusted; cough. Performance of any of these tasks may render one unconscious for several moments—or at the least make one wish for the Apocalypse. Bowel movements may actually kill. Which is ironic considering that one's surgeon will inevitably prescribe the liberal use of stool softener.

Also, the absence of usable abdominal muscles will cause the performance of urination to well-resemble the accomplishment of the same task performed by a ninety-year-old man with a swollen prostate. A twenty-minute dribble (a.k.a. gradual evacuation) should not come as entirely unexpected. One imagines that a ninety-year-old man with a swollen prostate who underwent such a surgery would really just have to give up on urination entirely.

As well, hot tubs are apparently out of the question for several weeks—a revelation to which all the faithful must assuredly say Boo. Further, spousal caretakers will generally be overwhelmed with frustration of their inability to really do anything to make the pain go away or assist in any way save for providing pitying glances.

Currently there is no reliable data on how long continued pain should last. Of course it gradually recedes and within a week one should find the ability to putter around the house a gratifying experience. Poop no longer stands threat as a mortally feared enemy after five or six days and is merely relegated to an adversarial role. At two weeks one will likely not be able to sleep yet on one's side and rising from bed may still present some challenges.

My personal recommendation is to engage one's mind during such trials on a plane divorced from common levels. This state may be most readily attained through the use of technological substances rather than medicinal substances. Particularly useful in this divorce from reality is the engagement of realtime strategy games such as those cut from the Age of Empires, Civilization, Total War cloth. My personal remedy included much early involvement in Sid Meyer's Railroads! and, as strength permitted, a deep involvement in a solitaire version of the WoW boardgame.

All in all, there are better ways to spend one's weeks.

Rating:


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Monday, May 05, 2008

20080505

Boardgame: Adventure
Publisher: Fantasy Flight Games
Players: 2–6 (or 1)
Time: 2–5 hours
Official Website: www.fantasyflightgames.com/worldofwarcraft.html.

As the great beast Nefarian heaved a final breath, the ragged forms of a horned bear, her side torn and gaping as a fresh steam curdled from deep within boiled forth, and a skeletal mage draped in frosted glory split the smoke of rubble and dark fires, their heading certain and their victory assured. They had met the terror of the Blackrock and found their courage, mettle, and sense of self tested beyond measure. And yet, as their riches, still-flowing blood, and aching muscles would attest, they were not found wanting. With their skills and prowess, they would soon be hailed as lords of the realm—for fortune and politics often favours the victors of war and the heroes of the battle. Et cetera.

Okay, so World of Warcraft: The Board Game (WoWtBG) doesn't quite ring with so much drama as all that. It probably doesn't even have as much as the MMO.* But that doesn't mean it isn't fun.**

Granted, I haven't played it strictly according to the rules. I'm not even all that sure that my victory over the dragon Nefarian was even legitimate. More on this later.

WoWtBG is an attempt at tabletop simulation of those things that make the orignal so unique and engaging. And to some degree it succeeds. To another degree the boardgame is its own thing and has to be treated on its own terms.

In WoWtBG, players form teams with each player controlling a unique character with a unique set of skills. Each player seeks to develop her character through an increasingly difficult series of quests, killing monsters and looting corpses. While foes become increasingly difficult, culminating in a showdown with one of three overlords (Nefarian, Lord Kazzack, or Kel'Thuzad—or more with the Burning Crusade expansion), characters will grow in strength and ability as they experience the rigours of battle, train to increase their skills, and discover or purchase armor and weapons to aid them in their struggles.

They will also have the opportunity to participate in PvP combat with players of the opposing team if that is their fancy. Or even if it isn't—as it may be the fancy of one's opponents.

All in all, the boardgame presents an interesting facsimile of the intricacies of a highly complex and stratified online world—though highly abstracted, the game is far from unrecognizable. But how 'bout some more detail?

Mechanica
So let's talk details.

Characters
At the start of the game, each player chooses the class and race of character they'd prefer to play. All the playable classes and races of the original MMO are represented. Players may take up the mantle of the rogue, warrior, mage, warlock, druid, priest, hunter, paladin, and shaman. Of course, the more players involved, the more likely players are to fight over which class to play*#8212;because the game only provides the option of one representative of any given class.

Once characters are chosen, they are divided into two teams, or factions, the honorable Horde and the villainous Alliance. It is with those with whom you are teamed that you will conspire and adventure. In fact, interaction with those of the opposing faction will be pretty limited for the rest of the game.

Each player gets a cardboard sheet about 7"x10" featuring handsome art of their character striking Pose Dramaticus. This sheet is the player's primary means of interacting with their character, building and outfitting oneself for their adventures. Each sheet has seven compartments in which players may equip appropriate spells and armaments (as in the MMO, each class is limited to specific spells and equipment—for example, mages can only wear cloth armor and priests don't weild axes). It is through these spells and equipment that a player determines his strengths for combat.

At the top of character sheet is a means of tracking at which level a character is currently situated (WoWtBG allows five stages of level growth) as well as her maximum health and energy (a.k.a. mana, rage, or energy to WoW-heads). The sheet also provides information about one's particular racial abilities as well as providing a place to track one's current health, energy, and purse. Along the sheet's bottom is a place for a limited talent build (one more way for players to customize their characters—and vastly expanded through the customization offered in the Shadow of War expansion).

Gameplay
WoWtBG plays out across thirty turns. Each faction alternates playing turns (e.g. Horde plays turn one, Alliance turn two, Horde turn three, etc.) so that each team has no more than fifteen turns to accomplish its goal. If by the thirtieth turn no faction has defeated the overlord, all players engage in a massive PvP match to determine the game's winner.

In a given turn, each member of the faction whose turn it is gets the opportunity to use two actions. These actions consist of a range of five possibilities:

• A rest action
• A training action
• A town action
• A travel action
• A challenge action

During a rest action, a player may replenish lost health and energy. In a training action, players make learn new skills and spells. In a town action, players may recuperate some health and energy, train new skills, and purchase goods and equipment from the local merchants. A travel action allows players to move up to two regions from one's starting point. And the challenge action is essentially the core experience of the game: fightin' monsters.

Quests
The reason why players will want to fight monsters is that they are given quests to seek out such creatures and destroy them. And of course, successful completion of quests means rewards. Gold, experience, and looted items are earned with every successfully completed quest. And experiece means leveling. And leveling means more health, more energy, better talents, better skills, and a wider range of potential arms. Through gaining levels, players prepare themselves for their final encounter with the overlord.

Combat
But quests cannot be completed without combat. I thought about describing combat here in words, but I started getting lost. It's kind of like Risk combat, but far more detailed. Instead of describing it, I thought I'd film a single fight between two WoW characters and a big red ogre. (This is not a short video.)

PvP
And of course, WoW wouldn't be WoW without the possibility of killing the faces off your opponents' characters. PvP (or Player vs. Player) combat runs similar to the above described fight save for a few slight differences. And PvP is inevitable even for players who do their best to keep distance from the opposing faction if no one can defeat the overlord by the end of Turn 30. If Nefarion of Lord Kazzack or whoever goes undefeated, the game ends in a sudden death PvP finale between the entire Horde side and the entire Alliance side.

I personally haven't tried PvP yet so I cannot tell you how well it works.

Session Variables
The reason for my abstinence from PvP is simple. I've only played a cooperative variable on the game rules, where players do not choose opposing sides but instead fight alongside each other. This has been a largely enjoyable alteration on the rules and has vastly diminished the time the game takes to play (from 2½–4 hours down to 1½–2½ hours). One can even play the co-op variant solo if one likes—which is helpful if one does not have friends.

So Then
Really, so far as boardgames go, I've really enjoyed WoWtBG so far (enough so that I sought out the expansions). Fantasy Flight Games has translated many of the more enjoyable aspects of the MMO into the boardgame experience.*** Character building, talent trees, itemization, and teamwork are all represented very well and will be enjoyable for those who enjoy such activities. The storytelling is understandably not as rich, but for those who are already aware of the lore, your imagination is your playground. Initially, I thought that combat was overly complicated (and even blew it on several of the rules—which is why my victory over Nefarian is pretty debatable), but after playing a couple times, it seems to flow pretty easily.

The big complaint I'm hearing across the internet is the duration of games. Game set-up can take anywhere from ten minutes or less (if you have assistance) to thirty minutes if you have no idea what you're doing (I can set it up by myself in fifteen). A game of six newcomers may take up to five or six hours according to several session reports I've read. That sounds pretty plausible with a bunch of people who don't know exactly how things should play out. Or if you have a particularly deliberate player involved (Settlers is a 90-minute game, but I've played some 4 hour (!!) matches in the past due to players with analysis paralysis). I imagine a game with people who have played once or twice would get cut down to two-to-four hours. Which is still a longish game. I mean, it's not Risk or Axis & Allies, but let's not kid each other imagining that WoWtBG isn't time-intensive.

Granted, it's not as time-intensive as the MMO, but...

Additionally, as noted above, a co-op variant cuts down game time drastically. In any case though, players should be prepared for a meandering kind of adventure. A way to pass the afternoon or evening.

My final word on the game is that it really is what it advertises to be and succeeds pretty admirably at that. I have really enjoyed myself with the game and while it's far from accessible and isn't as awe-striking as Cities & Knights (which is the bar against which all games are measured), it's still pretty darned awesome.

Rating:


NOTES:
*MMO stands for massively multiplayer online game. World of Warcraft currently boasts over ten million subscribers worldwide. Of course, you're not playing with all of them at the same time (that would be EVE Online); but you are certainly playing with at least a couple thousand.

**Especially since most ot the drama in the MMO is interpersonal rather than a feature of the game itself.

***Another primary component of the WoW MMO is that it is highly addictive. So much so that it is not infrequently referred to as Warcrack. The boardgame is completely unfaithful in this regard because, while gameplay can stretch to a few-to-several hours, it does actually end. Either in victory or defeat. But it does end. The MMO simply does not—so logged gametime stretches far beyond days, easily into weeks, and often into months.

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