Fantasy? Reality? Who gives a rip?
You know you're in trouble when you read "Middle East is unstable" and think, Well, duh. With the Eye of Sauron on the rise and all, of course it is! Only to realize five minutes later that it was the East not the Earth that was unstable. *sigh* Pop culture will be the Mount Doom of me.

Needless to say:

I was thinking about The Last Temptation of Christ recently. And thinking about this has provoked an interest in the ethics of human sexuality. For those unfamiliar, Martin Scorsese filmed in 1988 an adaptation of Nikos Kazantzakis’s book of the same name—and was met with virulent opposition by the usual religious zealotry (Bright, Falwell, the Pats, et cetera). One of the chief concerns that spurred this organized opposition is that Jesus, in a final temptation upon the cross (taking place between the “Why have you forsaken me?!” and the “It is finished”), Satan offers Christ the life of a simple man, married to Mary Magdalen, procreating, and raising children.

Not defending the film—as I think it plays far too fast and loose with the established record of the life and motivation of Christ—but the fact that churchgoers thought it horrifying that people might perceive Christ as a sexual being raises a few issues in my mind. And they’re really more issues with the modern American Protestant’s (and yes, I include Baptists as Protestants, you freakin’ elitists) view of sexuality.

To me, it seems that sexuality is one of the basic human appetites. Not something birthed of the Fall, the sexual side of man seems something as natural to his make—up as his other appetites (e.g., for food or for rest). There isn’t really any strong biblical evidence to support this beyond the fact that God created man male and female (an inherent sexual distinction); but then there is less evidence to support a view that sexuality is less than natural to the human frame.

And so, what is the bother to us (beyond our Victorian prudishness) that Jesus be a man of sexual nature as well? Should there be any? Do we wish to believe that sexual appetite outside of marriage is sin (for if it is, then surely Christ could not have had any such appetite)? What is the nature of sexual desire—when is it innocent of error and when is it befouled and a hindrance of righteousness? Can Christ have had a human sexuality and still have remained without sin (of either mind or action, of course)? Is it a valid more that we so diligently shy from open discussion of matters sexual in nature?

I think these are all valuable questions. And I think the fact that I don’t think I’ve ever really heard them answered is due to the inordinate fear American Christians hold towards questions of sex and human nature. I think our societal heritage has so loaded us down with moral baggage that we are uncomfortable even dealing with the topic out in the open—it has always been such a behind—closed—doors subject. And I think that’s wrong.

This doesn’t of course mean that I’m any different (or consider myself somehow “enlightened”). Rather, I’m plagued by the shame of society as well, and wince uncomfortably even as I ask these questions. Hundreds of years of social mores are a heavy weight indeed.

So while I’m going to take a few days to flesh out my speculations (in order that I avoid any of that brute sort of heresy that so easily slips out when people speak their minds), I hope to find as many answers as I am able after the new year (I’m in the midst of a very time—consuming project that I hope to unveil late New Year’s Eve). Any thoughts, corrections, or revelations along the way shall be much welcomed.

Anyone who wants to see me lookin' goofy like I am apt should check out Brandon's pix of our recent Magic Mountain fiesta.

I'm getting a new roommate. I thought you all might be entertained by the rules I give the prospectives.

+ Rent is due on the 1st of each month - gas, water, and electric are covered.
+ Common courtesy is nice, so if you're going to have a bunch of people over, just let your housemates know.
+ If you or your guests are smokers, please don't indulge inside. If you must, the deck or porch are okay.
+ I don't mind if you drink a beer here or there, but binges or any other lack of sobriety is not tolerated.
+ Illicit drug use is strictly forbidden.
+ Bringing girlfriends over is fine, but no sleepovers and no sex.
+ Homosexuality is right out.
+ Don't go into your roommates rooms unless they know or are okay with it.

+ If you want to borrow a movie from the collection, ask first.

Ammendments according to recommendations by Mikey:

• Rule #9: If you want to borrow a movie from the collection, tough luck. There is no such thing as borrowing movies. However, you may rent them at exorbitant prices with non-negotiable late fees if returned later than 5 minutes past credit roll.
• Rule #9 A: Free viewing of movies may be allowed under the following circumstances.

• Rule #9 a sub1: Prior consent from The Dane, under the stipulation that desired movie is viewed within the confines of The Dane's abode.
• Rule #9 a sub2: Attending designated movie nights with The Dane.

• Rule #9 B: There will be no rearranging of the movies designated shelf slot.
• Rule #9 C: Any movie removed from it's proper case, shall be returned to it's proper case immediately after viewing. As of January 1, 2003, finger prints will be taken when a disc is discovered missing. The suspect will be automatically found guilty and owe 18 times what the movie was worth to the producers who made it.

• Failure to abide by Rule #9 and all sub-sections will be punishable by torture as seen fit by The Dane.

+ I'll give you a degree of moral latitude (i.e., your life and choices are your own) and I'll try not to infringe upon your prerogatives that don't break any house rules UNLESS you specifically tell me you want the accountability - then I'll do what I can to keep you in line, remind you to go to church, ask you occasionally embarrassing questions, etc :-D

"And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins" (Matthew 1:21).

Long did the world await His coming. Long did the people of God pine for the promised Seed. Long did we desire the advent of the one who would bring about the kingdom of God. And He has come! And He has risen! Christ came to earth in sinless perfection, lived His life in perfect holiness, gave up perfection to become our sin, and took up perfection once more in His resurrection! Praise the Lord for His salvation all you who believe!

Merry Christmas all!

Looking over the Mission Hospital medical report, I now realize that what I once thought was symptomatic of my spinal troubles was really only symptomatic of Brandon's flirtatious nature. As it turns out, he 'fessed up and what I felt in my back was only Brandon snapping my bra. Carry on.

Fun and Games with The Dane's Anatomy:
Here's a snap of my spine! Follow the Yellow Birck Road of my spinal cord to discover the problem in my mid back! (helpful hint: when seen from this angle, spinal cords and columns are s'posed to be straight!). Good Luck!

Note: games involving the problem in my upper back and the problem in my neck may soon follow - hold onto your hats!

At last, an eighth Decablogger! One Chris down, two more to go!

Okay. The Two Towers seriously rocked my booty.

After finishing Eco's The Name of the Rose (and still not understanding the title), I indulged in three easy fantasy novels (all by Raymond E. Feist) to settle my reading mind. Now, ready to once again buckle down, I've begun simultaneously three nonfiction works. The first, a gift, is an examination of the inner workings of Japan's political/industrial system (or so the book's subscript claims) by Karel van Wolferen called The Enigma of Japanese Power. The second is a study of thematic, narrative, character, and cinematic aspects of the film ouevre of Hayao Miyazaki - the most wonderful director of animated film I've yet witnessed. The third is the true gem (as all who know truth will readily acknowledge): If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor. Yes. It's written by Bruce Campbell. BRUCE CAMPBELL!! Look, listen, kneel, pray! *uhh, sorta kidding, get up* Bruce Campbell is a funny, funny man and desrves way better than he gets. He also deserves to know better people than those wacky Raimis who "write" the introduction to the man's memoirs. In any case, with the übercrazy schedule I've created for myself (read: BIG project set for release on the 1st of the new year!), I likely won't actually finish any of these before the month is out.

But I thought it important that you know I'm cultivating my mind with something more than just old videotapes of Johnny Bravo. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I got two early Chirstmas presents this year: working internet again (yay!) and the Leaning Tower of Spinal Column (humbug!). Yep, I got my X-Rays and now I know exactly why my back hurts. Actually, after seeing the pix, I'm surprised that I can walk at all (which, by the way, I'm thankfully able to do now). *frown wince*

Either tests are dumb (which they may well be) or I could only be happy in a very small range of careers. I took the test that Rustle took and here are the suggested occupations with all the ridiculous choices scratched off.

Actor
  Advertising Executive
  Agent
  Antiques Dealer
  Art Dealer
Artist
  Attorney
  Auctioneer
  Auto Salesperson
  Bank Officer
  Bar/Club Manager
  Benefits Administrator
  Biologist
  Buyer
  Career Counselor
  Clergy--Priest Rabbi and Minister
  Clothing/Jewelry/Cosmetics Generalist
  Coach
  Consultant
  Diplomat/Attache/Foreign Service Officer
  Disc Jockey
  Economist
Film Director
  Financial Analyst
  Foreign Exchange Trader
  Fundraiser/Institutional Solicitor
Graphic Designer
  Guidance Counselor
  Hotel Manager
  Human Resources Manager
  Insurance Agent/Broker
  Investment Banker
  Labor Relations Specialist
  Lobbyist
  Market Researcher
  Marketing Executive
  Media Specialist
  Military Officer
  Music Executive
Musician
  Nuclear Engineer
  Nutritionist
  Occupational Therapist
  Performing Arts Administrator
  Pharmaceutical Sales Representative
  Physical Therapist
  Physician
  Political Aide
  Political Scientist
  Politician
Professor
  Promoter
  Property Manager
  Psychologist
  Public Health Administrator
  Publicist
  Real Estate Agent/Broker
  Researcher
  Restauranteur
  Retail Salesperson
  School Administrator
  Service Sales Representative
  Small Business Owner
  Social Worker
  Sociologist
  Speech Therapist
  Stockbroker
  Substance Abuse Counselor
  Telecommunications Specialist
Television Reporter
  Translator
  Travel Agent
  Venture Capitalist/Investor
Wedding Consultant

A couple noticeable omissions and jobs I would seriously consider were author, graphic novelist, radio show host, hypertext architect (my current profession of choice), traffic reporter, and professional critic.

Funny, I was just gonna blog about names and naming. My kid is gonna be named without a meaning. He will not be named with any purpose in mind other than does his name sound cool (unless my wife turns out to be a goblin and demands that her happiness rest upon her kid having a name with ancient meaning).

It might be different if I were in a culture where people cared about stuff like that, but when I meet someone named Sarah, I don't wonder what her name means. I don't wonder about Jorge or Michael or Brian or Teddy. And I don't think anyone cares that my name somehow means "Appointed Protector Honoured of God" - supposedly my name would mean that no matter what kind of person I turned out to be (honest Christian or villainous worker of iniquity).

I think it might be a uniquely Western trait, but I prefer the idea of making a name for oneself. No matter what the sounds that form my name, the meaning of that name is the meaning that I give it by the life I lead - so that when someone hears the name Seth T. Hahne, they immediately think, "Courage, integrity, imagination." Or something like that. Okay, fine, that was wishful thinking and I know you're all thinking of meanings very much different so fine *sticks out tongue*

Therefore, since people create the meaning of their name themselves, I think the best thing is to have a cool-sounding name divorced from implied meaning so that won't get in the way when people hear my name. Of course, it could be that I'm just being dumb.

My Top 5 Xmas Songs

(in no order beyond alphabetical)

"Come Thou Long Expected Jesus"

"O Come O Come Emmanuel"

"O Holy Night"

"What Child Is This"

"White Christmas" - Bing Crosby

Brandolino has shared his own dreidl song with you, so I thought I'd share mine:

Dreidl, dreidl, dreidl!
Whoops! I dropped my dreidl!
Dreidl, dreidl, dreidl!
RAWHIDE!!

Download the MP3 version here.

I'm soooo sad the name of Jesus is mixed up in this website.

I was sent a link to this site and some others by a zealous user of the Blue Letter Bible. Coincidentally, his name is Dane. Here follows my response to him:

Dear Dane,

The articles you sent were intriguing but misguided. They represent the neonomianism that has plagued the church for centuries (even so early as in the New Testament church). The writers of each article, while genuine in their desire to purify the church, are overly dogmatic and sensationalist. In their desire to keep believers from celebrating the Advent during the Christmas season, they fail to understand Christmas at all. There are too many flaws for me to detail each specifically, but here are a few.

25 December: This is not the day that we claim to be the birthday of Christ, but merely the day upon which many have chosen to specifically celebrate that wonderful aspect of his life and work. Just as every Lord's Day, all his people gather to celebrate his new birth, so do many gather to celebrate his first birth.

The Christmas Tree: This is just a decoration. This bears no relation at all to the Jeremiah 10:3-5 passage. Jeremiah is concerns with the fashioning of idols by the nations into whose hands Israel had fallen (or would soon fall). More, he is telling the people of God not to fear such idols for they are powerless. I have never met anyone who has made their Christmas tree a thing to be worshipped. Some put it up because it is understandably festive and some put it up for tradition's sake, but I cannot seriously entertain the idea that believers are decorating Christmas trees in order to worship them (or even aid in the worship of the true God).

The Origin of Christmas: Origins of holidays mean nothing. Holidays are subjective by their very nature. While one person uses Christmas as a celebration of the coming of Christ, another uses it to celebrate peace on earth and good will toward men, and a third will use the day to celebrate family and togetherness. Each meaning given the day is perfectly valid insofar as it is the *real* meaning of Christmas for each individual. This same function operates for all holidays - a day of celebration is only a celebration of that which each individual wishes to celebrate. Easter can be a celebration of the birth of the new creation and the establishment of the heavenly kingdom or it can be a celebration of hiding eggs. Cinco de Mayo can be a celebration of personal independence from tyranny or it can be a celebration of alcohol. Halloween can be a celebration of spirits and witchcraft or it can be a celebration of fun and friendship. The Fourth of July can be a celebration of the illegitimate rebellion of wealthy landowners against their government or it can be a celebration of the current liberty enjoyed in America. All of these are meanings that can be considered a "true" meaning - for there is no true meaning for any of these holidays and nobody celebrates a holiday as it was originally designed.

Christmas Songs: Admittedly, some songs of Advent misrepresent the coming of our Lord. This is where the admonition about not throwing out the baby with the bath water applies. If we were to apply the author's logic to song's of Christian praise as well, we would no longer sing the praises of our Lord (nor even celebrate him) for there are innumerable songs of worship that misrepresent deity and the Gospel. A more circumspect route would be simply to abstain from inappropriate songs and rejoice properly in the good ones. Some great songs of Advent that would be tragic to leave behind are "O Come, O Come Emmanuel," "Come Thou Long Expected Jesus," "Joy to the World," "Angels We Have Heard on High," and "O Holy Night."

Other Issues: The author clearly has trouble understanding the role of nations within the New Covenant and imagines astoundingly that World War II came about as a judgment of American and British Christmas celebration. He also bears an intolerable grudge against Roman Christianity - implying that she is the "mystery Babylon" - and without substantiation refers to Christmas as "THE SIN OF ROMAN CATHOLIC PAGAN IDOLATRY."

Quite frankly, the author seems to have a conclusion presupposed and will use any means to prove this point no matter how ill-reasoned. He spends more of his page misinterpreting Scripture, mistaking history, and preaching virulent bile than he does clearly, concisely, and accurately expounded the whole counsel of God. There is little support for his claims of woe and they accurately portray neither the tenor of Scripture nor the holiday as it in reality is. The questions he wishes us to ask of ourselves under Point 8 are especially helpful in revealing the authors obsessive drive to be right at the cost of that which is sensible (they are frothing with angry bias).

Honestly, though the author's intent may indeed be righteous (as he seems to honestly desire righteousness in the church), he proceeds with neither love nor mercy. He wants so badly for Christmas to be the devil that he honestly imagines it is. This is the danger of the untempered quest for purity: haste. Haste to believe the worst. Haste to condemn. And haste to embrace legalism. I sorrow for the author, but more, I sorrow for those caught in the trap of his words (and prominent website name).

I hope this will better equip you to judge the articles. Pray to the Lord. Study the word. And follow your conscience in these matters. And importantly, unless you have undeniable Scripture to back your conscience, never force it upon the consciences of others.

Yours, in Christ,
The Dane

Yep. It really happened. I was taken to the hospital Tuesday afternoon by Gouda and the Li’l Donut Girl (these are coworkers in case you’re confused). The pain between my shoulder blades had rendered me next to useless - I sat stationary in the same chair from 8:4o (the time of The Incident) ‘til 1:2o (when they decided I needed a hospital). And so I spent the rest of the day explaining symptoms to nurses, trying to make conversation with nurses, getting banged up by nurses, changing into backless gowns for nurses, and generally wondering what’s the use of nurses. Then I was sent home doped to the gills and unsure of anything beyond the fact that it hurts to move. It still does too, but at least I can now move my head slightly (as aiming was definitely impaired for pottytime – and yes, that was my biggest concern during my early time of infirmity).

Now what reckless adventure had I embarked upon to merit me such an ill-fortuned back trouble? What youthful scheme had I forced upon my not-so-youthful-as-it-once-was body? What extreme action had I purposed with such abandon that consequences were thrown asunder?

I stretched.

You know. Stretching. That thing you’ll occasionally do in conjunct with a contented yawn. Yup. I stretched and in mid-stretch, something went BZZZoing! And the world froze. Eyes shut tight, I lost all sense of what was and where that what would be and who that what would be happening to and all save the single, unalterable fact that something, somewhere, was hurting someone badly. And that someone was me.

And apparently still is. *sniff* Yes. It’s true. I am hurty. And the moral of this story is if you’re over 25, stretch before you stretch. It’ll save you in the end. Trust me.

The best part of The Name of the the Rose follows. It is undeniable logic and will needs no exposition by me for you to feel its full weight.

You look at [the girl] because she is beautiful. She is beautiful, is she not? Be on guard, my son.... The beauty of the body stops at the skin. If men could see what is beneath the skin, they would shudder at the sight of a woman. All that grace consists of mucus and blood, humors and bile. If you think of what is hidden in the nostrils, in the throat, and in the belly, you will find only filth. And if it revolts you to touch mucus or dung with your fingertip, how could we desire to embrace the sack that contains that dung?

ex falso quodlibet

[note: the link from page 10 to page 11 is broke so act accordingly]

The site I would've made if black people loved me. Unfortunately, I only get Cracker-love *sniff*

For those of you who may worry about X taking the Christ out of Christmas, please note:

Xmas has been used for hundreds of years in religious writing, where the X represents a Greek chi, the first letter of XPWTOS, “Christ.” In this use it is parallel to other forms like Xian, “Christian.” But people unaware of the Greek origin of this X often mistakenly interpret Xmas as an informal shortening pronounced (eks´mes). Many therefore frown upon the term Xmas because it seems to them a commercial convenience that omits Christ from Christmas.

From Bartleby

Further Fun from The Dane
Still insired by Valerie.

13. Okay, okay. The bloggers I really have the most fun arguing with.
KrisNine, Miss Erie, Dani, Ellen, Emeth (well, maybe not since she never really argues back), Scott (and really anyone at DYL), and that crazy guy with all the really strange ideas: Esteban. Anyone else notice that its the girls who are the most uppity? Oh yeah, and my favourite was always that great Lady Mel - cause she was almost a midget to boot!

14. Which blogger would you go on a single date with if you had the opportunity?
Mel. For the reasons listed above.

15. Which prevalent dead horse do you feel was beaten most severely?
That's a good question. I'd probably toss it up between trusting web content after the whole Kaycee Nicole debacle and the whole Blogs4God vs. ChristianTop1000 vs. sanity ;-)

16. Which blog can you just not read anymore for fear that you will do someone bodily harm (you know, the way you feel when listening to that strumppet Dr. Laura Schlesshillamainger)?
Mark Byron's. It's true. Sorry.

17. Which blogger seems to understand you the least?
Maybe Dani. I think that's a large part of the reason we argue whenever she posts here. The non-blogger who I think least gets what I'm saying is the Octothorp v.9 (and that's why I always keep my plastic lobster handy).

18. Which bloggers do you find yourself agreeing with the most often?
The Samurai Barber and Young Russ Young.

19. Which blog is the hardest to read due to aesthetic reasons?
Hate to say it, but I have to strain to see KrisNine's links. Her blog is fine. It's just them pesky links!

20. What do you think is the most evil thing that can happen to a blog site?
Target="_blank"     need I say more? Makes me wanna drive my head through something soft, cute, and furry.

Giving props where props are due:
The bulk of this quiz comes from Valerie.

1. Which blogger have you known longest online?
Good ol' Rustoleum got me my start by convincing me I should add a blog to my site (simply by having one on his own site).

2. Which blogger have you known longest IRL?
I've known The Olive since April or so 1987. That's about as long as I've known most people IRL.

3. Which blogger have you spent the most time with IRL?
I was the landlord/surrogate son of The Samurai Barber and his wife for about two years, so it'd probably hafta be them. [whoops, almost forgotted Brandolino - whom I see about 40 hours a week. or so.]

4. Which blogger would you most like to meet IRL (that you haven’t met IRL)?
Gosh. What a mean question. I hate to crush the hope of anyone out there, but it'd hafta be the Amazing Jettgirl. Apologies to everyone else who came close but aren't quite so fascinating as Jett (runners up include, at the top, Jimmy the Hartbreaker, Emeth the Frog Crusher, and the two Sarah's )Blog Thexian, and Musical Jones)) [crud, this forgetting thing is ridiculous, cuz I wouldn't mind hangin' with Pow someday either...]

5. Which blogger do you think has the best blog design?
I'd be a jerk if I said mine, huh? Well, the site design I most enjoy in which I have played no part would have uhm... I'd say Brown Pow's (since some of his designs kick keister), but the fact that it changes every time I visit makes me wanna gouge out my eyes and cry for buttermilk. So I'll vote for Wockerrabi's old Patriotic Rock Climbing Design. I also liked Emeth's a lot - until she got rid of the frog :-( *sniff*

6. Which blogger do you like most to argue with?
Anyone who has a comment system and states the patently false as though it were truth (e.g., America was founded on Christian principle, birth control is wrong, courtship is biblical, smoking is sin, prosperity is the manifest blessing of God in the NT, or Magnolia was a great film). Oh yes, and dat means all o' youse!!

7. Which blogger makes you laugh the most?
Without question, this would be the Samurai Barber. Runners up include Funny Trouble and Lestor Crivens.

8. Which blogger intimidates you the most?
I have yet to meet a blogger beautiful enough to intimidate me.

9. Which blogger do you most wish would post more often?
The Olive.

10. Which blog is the most heartfelt?
Jett's. Without doubt. Oh, and Kaycee's too - man that's tough stuff (I can hardly believe she could be so real).

11. Which blog makes me want to pull out the most hair?
On a post-by-post ratio, I'd say it'd hafta be Emeth's (but only because I think she's cool in spite of how viscerally I sometimes disagree with her perspective on matters of faith).

12. Which is the most annoying habit of bloggers?
This is a three-way tie between their affection of personality quizzes, the bloggers who use highfalutin philosophical lingo that makes little sense because it has been so obscured by jargon, and bloggers who have never met people but consider them friends.

Because I love you all dearly and haven't had time to post due to missing internet services and looooong work days. But to cheer you up and help you know I haven't abandoned you in your hour of need, I happily present you with the most tangeble fruit of the last three weeks of meetings: 29 New Doodles!

By the way, here's some liner notes: The doodle entitled 'Jorge' is based on Eco's monk by the same name - he is made righteous by his indignation. 'Draco Battles' features two people (a man and a young girl) watching two dragons tussle in the distance; they shield their eyes from the sun (I zoomed in on the girl because she kinda looked like a fire hydrant). 'In Another Meeting' shows how I feel in any meeting, but especially those of recent weeks: stifled, traped, persecuted, and doomed. 'This Morning' demonstrates the certain madness that fills me every morning in the office - it's pretty common knowledge that I'm a NiteOwl and mornings are the devil. There's more I could say, but you probably don't wanna know.

Dating is the form of courtship I prefer.

I am soooooo tired of this whole work thing. When will this fad die out? Is there anyway I can reject it and still remain popular?